When I was in my thirties, I lost a good friend. When I say I lost them, they didn't die or move away. They misused our friendship and I was left totally devastated. Not only did they hurt me irrevocably, they then lied to me, telling me that my extended family believed there was something wrong with me. We had been best friends for many years, and I was absolutely sure we would be lifelong friends. However, she had a perception of me that wasn't true to who I am. I may have once been that way, but we all grow and evolve. That's what life is all about. I embraced and accepted the changes in her, but she was unwilling to do the same.
Just lately (over twenty years later), she has been 'popping into' my head. In the last month or so, I have been wondering how she is, not to reclaim our friendship, but perhaps because there was a piece of me that wanted to heal the pain from our parting.
I was out shopping the other day and, while waiting at the bookstore checkout, I became 'present in the moment' and realised I was standing next to this friend of my past. As we chatted, I realised I had almost bumped into her about ten minutes prior. As I had come out of the post office, I almost tripped over a woman who had bent over to pick up her car keys. I had, on some level, noticed her necklace, but, because I was so lost in my thoughts and what I needed to do, I hadn't really taken any notice of who she was.
After we had finished speaking, we both separated a little to go to our respective cars. The third coincidence was when we discovered that we had parked right next to each other. Now, as you know, three is always a charm for me, and a sign that the Universe was assisting me in some way.
Although we didn't 'kiss and make up' and we didn't speak of the past, there was a sense of peace and closure when we parted.
As I drove away, I thanked my guides for allowing me to release the old emotions and pain from the past. It was interesting to note that the old anger I had thought I had forgiven and resolved came through as I drove home. I was surprised that they came from a place deep deep down, hidden away from my conscious thought. I listened to these feelings. I honoured them and then I released them.
Sometimes, when we see someone who has hurt us in the past, and allow those little knots to loosen up, we can move forward a lot lighter and freer. We don't forgive so the other person feels better. We forgive for our sake, because we don't need that extra weight within our energy field.

With love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

For a long time now Karen and I have noticed that when we are together, I have felt a sharp pain in my neck, almost as if I have had a cut to the back of my head. We have often joked about how she probably chopped my head off in a past life. It never seems to happen when we aren't together. Yesterday it happened while we were having morning tea with a friend. I had a severe jolt to the back of my neck as we chatted. Karen and I laughed, as we usually did, and then she apologised. We explained to our perplexed friend what we thought was the issue and she asked if I had ever done a past life reading on Karen. Sometimes we get so busy doing for other people that we forget to see what could be happening right in front of our nose - obviously a past life issue that needed addressing.
Today it happened again, but this one was slightly different. As Karen said the word 'pain' and clapped her hands, I felt a sharp pain and then a strange sensation as if my head was going to fall off. This was accompanied with a visual of where the axe had separated my head from my body.
Karen and I got my pendulum and decided to explore it further. Amidst much laughing and irreverent comments and questions, we established that Karen had indeed, been my executioner in a past life. I was a young girl of around 14-16 years old. I was executed as a way for the 'powers that be' of that time to be able to control my parents, who were drowned not long after they had witnessed my demise. I could see my parents, the same ones I have in this lifetime, watching in horror, as the axe was raised, and fell, ending my young life.
Of course Karen was horrified that she had killed a friend (that would be me ☺) that she had from this lifetime.
We discussed whether I would stop getting this sensation now that we had discovered the cause and released the past life issue that we had been making fun of for months. However, I could still feel a tightening around the place where the axe had hit...so we decided we needed to venture further into the story with my pendulum.
We discovered that I had not committed an actual crime, apart from being the daughter of my parents, who obviously weren't behaving in the way the 'Magistrate' wanted them to.
After a little more probing, we discovered that in that lifetime, the executioner had loved me (well, what can I say? I am definitely a loveable type!) and had been forced to execute me on the orders of the town's Chancellor, who then arranged for my executioner to be killed afterwards. (this made Karen feel a little better knowing she played a reluctant part in my death). Apparently he had resigned his axe sometime earlier, but the Chancellor insisted that he wield the axe one last time, no doubt for obscure reasons of his own.
This event happened in Russia during the seventeenth century.
The ache disappeared after we had learned this, so we felt we had learned all we needed to know about that particular lifetime. We discussed, and joked, about the event, taking away the power it once held, and integrated it into our 'knowing'.
Had we not explored it fully, we may have only got half the story and not recognised that Karen wasn't an active participant in my execution. We may have missed a vital piece of information that could have affected our soulular memory of that time.
Working with pendulums can be so much fun, especially when you are able to isolate an issue and work out what is causing it; the thought patterns and beliefs we have brought in with us. Looking back, I can see that on a personal level, I have always been waiting for Karen to 'stop being my friend' or to 'cut me off', without really understanding why. I wonder if I knew in that lifetime my executioner/love had no other option but to play the role he did. I am assuming not, given this irrational thought I have carried with me about expecting Karen to turn away.
I wonder how often we carry about perceptions and beliefs we have brought in from other lifetimes that affect how we view our lives and relationships in this one.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

There are times when I am shown a past life through a vision and other times it is within a dream. This morning I was shown a past life as a Jewish woman in Auschwitz. When I learned about Hitler in my teens, I was fixated on that period of time in Germany. I read everything I could about it, exhausting first the school library and then the town one. I had such an urge to know everything about it. I was sickened, sad and frantic without ever knowing why. Now it all makes sense.
I was with my mother (father from this lifetime) at some kind of doctors surgery. I was in my late 20's, around 26 I believe. I feel this started as a 'normal check up and I fit the bill for some kind of research they needed to do. My mother was led out of the room, helpless to do anything and I was left there, absolutely terrified. I was examined and even at that age, in those times, I had never shown my body to a man before and here I was being inspected by a small group of them!
At the beginning I cried and I screamed. I begged for mercy, but by the end of my time there I was disconnected and devoid of all feeling.
Memories of those I loved were running through my mind. My best friend (mother this lifetime), my sister and older brother (daughter and son this lifetime).
One of the older uniformed men tried to get through to me and be friendly. He had such soft sad eyes. 'We are not all bad you know,' he said as I cowered in the corner. He reached into his pocket and gave me a heart shaped stone of some kind. As he did so, I saw a flash of him as a younger man and recognised him as my husband from this lifetime.
I was then shown an experience from my current lifetime where I was out exploring with a group of cousins and friends. We visited an aunty I didn't know. I had never liked her and although she was sweet and kind, I was cross with her and scared of her at the same time. I was shown that she was one of the men who had 'operated' on me. It is important that I share this story with you to remind you that we are continually surrounded by our soul family. Sometimes they get the 'shit' assignments, where they are cruel to us. Sometimes they only play a bit part, but often, they are the nucleus we find within each lifetime. Its harder to love them when they are bad or mean, and they knew that when they 'agreed to their assignment'. Our soul mate can be anyone within our life, a good friend, a lover, a sibling, a parent, or maybe someone who helps us to believe that there is good in our life. Sometimes our 'gut feeling' of someone isn't because they are bad or wrong in this lifetime, but because they left a huge impression in another.
For me, this has opened my eyes to my fixation with Hitler as a teen, my fear of hospitals, drugs and needles, the cancer I developed at around 26, where it was and how panicked I was, until they explained what would happen and why (I refused to allow them to anesthetise me until it was explained in full - much to their frustration of those in theater!). Even hearing about nazi Germany makes me feel physically sick to my stomach, but I know that they were all a symptom of their times, just as we are of ours.
As I lay there, afterwards, I sent healing to my past lifetime and all concerned. I asked for healing to myself, to remove the physical, emotional and soul-ular scars that I have brought in with me. I asked for integration of that lifetime into my present one. Healing a past life isn't about deleting it or fixing it. It is about accepting it and knowing it is a part if who you are, regardless of the person you were at that time. Healing a past life isn't about judgement. It is about acceptance and love. 
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

I'd like to tell you the story of two clients of mine, Pamela and Janine. They were roughly the same age and had similar life stories.
Both of these ladies were in their second marriage and had been in a relationship with their current husband for 15 plus years.
Both had had unhappy first marriages, but it appeared to be an incompatibility problem. Both of their ex husbands had also moved on and were in happy relationships.
When they came to me for their first visit, they both had much angst and anger directed to their respective exes, as well as a lot of pain attached to these past relationships.
It was strange to be seeing two women with exactly the same issue. Although they were happy in their current relationships, they resented the fact that their ex husbands were also happy. They had a lot of 'unfinished business' between them and it was affecting their health and their weight.
Over a period of six months, we talked about their expectations, their hopes, their dreams, their pain and how they could move on from the situation in a positive and uplifting manner.
I used reiki healing, sound fork therapy and crystal healing, as well as 'love yourself' boot camp, Numerology and Psychic insight.
Pamela was keen to create change in her life. She was tired of being angry. She wasn't happy with her weight, which had eventuated into Type 2 diabetes. She worked really hard at forgiving everyone involved, including herself. She did regular release rituals as well as abundance rituals (in fact I think she still does).
Janine was not so eager. She believed everything was everyone else's fault and there was no way she needed to release anything or forgive anyone, including herself. As far as she was concerned she was blameless and she wasn't going to let anyone get away with what they had done to her. They owed her!
After 6 months, they both decided they were ready to 'go it alone'. Surprisingly, I have heard from them both recently.
Pamela has lost weight, is happier and more at peace with herself, her past and her future. She has reversed her diabetes and life is great. Her current marriage has gone from strength to strength and they have even been in a social environment with her ex and his partner, which has resulted in a friendlier atmosphere around them.
Janine has doubled her weight, is still surly, awaiting apologies from everyone she ever knew, especially her ex husband. She is bloated, has blood pressure problems and tells me that I didn't 'heal her'. I explained that healing has to come from within, but she doesn't see it that way.
All too often we have traumatic, sad or aggravating events in our lives, but we choose what happens next. We can choose to heal, or we can choose to hold on to that pain.
When I look at Pamela and Janine, I know which path I want to choose. How about you?
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

The past two weeks, actually the last two months have been a build up to a past life healing for me. Around about two months ago, I had a slight tickly cough and felt an immense heaviness in my chest. I assumed this was mostly due to the way the holiday season brings my grief to the surface as I consider another Christmas or new year beginning with Butch....and in truth, some of it was. However, this became all consuming, I struggled to breathe, as it caught in my throat and forced me to cough to create air intake.
As you know, I believe that whatever we are feeling or emoting at any given time is relative to the symptoms and signals we are receiving from our bodies. I knew the lungs was where my grief and heartache were centred, my frustration at life and feeling constricted or bound by the life I had, instead of the one I had planned. The throat is where we speak our truth, are heard or release our grief, so at the time it made perfect sense....until about two weeks ago!
Karen was doing an acutonics treatment on my back (which is relative to not feeling supported by the Universe - just saying!) one day and this awesome healing chant came on her ipod.
I had a sense of many people in the room, and later we discussed various things that had happened during the treatment - the blockages I was experiencing, where and why; the extra pair of hands on my forehead; the music that totally resonated with me and how I hadn't coughed once during the treatment (and many others that I can't remember).
I asked Karen if I might borrow the CD with the healing chant on it, and I felt there was some kind of urgency attached to it. Of course she agreed - thats what good friends do! ☺
I took it back with me and as soon as I was in the door, I had it playing in my laptop. I became quite fixated with this hour long chanting, playing it over and over, wondering why I felt as if I should know the words, as I could certainly feel the emotion behind it. I even played it before I went to sleep, hoping my guides would give me some insight or advice. Nothing.
Two days later, I was having breakfast, with my feet dangling in my current house-sits pool, listening to the the chant. Water is a great conductor for emotion. Next thing I was given a visual of a group of people standing on a hill, chanting, while their assailants rode around them, killing them as they stood. I felt that these were a peaceful people and they had chosen not to war with them, instead singing in unison to prove that they would not be changed by those that were around them. I also had the impression it was in 1890, and happened around Christmas time, hence the extra emphasis on my grief this time.
(If you are wondering why I never noticed it in other Christmases, I believe it is because I wasn't ready for it or open to it until this year....and possibly I would have struggled to differentiate between the grief I already felt with Butch's passing)
I could see the chief/leader, and he was only wearing a single feather or headdress, which I felt was strange given that I would have thought he would have had the big regal one - but then, would that have been tantamount to a challenge in a very aggressive way - who knows? He was very tall, almost freakishly tall.
I sat there crying my heart out as I saw those I once loved fall around me...and then the vision stopped. I wanted more! I tried everything, but nope, apparently I wasn't ready for the rest of this story yet.
I kept listening to the healing chant continuously, feeling a sense of peace that I couldn't explain. However, my breathing and heaviness got worse. I had various excuses for it, cutting back on various types of foods, concentrating on my vege juice and immunity supplements. When I coughed I felt like I was turning inside out! I made my never fail cough mix to help prevent the coughing which had made my throat raw and sore. It eased the throat, but the cough just got worse.
Christmas night onwards, I felt like I was truly dying. I know that sounds dramatic, but the coughing was leaving me light-headed, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, I couldn't sleep, and I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest, who only moved when I doubled up in pain.
Finally the 27th came and I could get a doctors appointment... As I spoke about my symptoms and the lead up (without explaining the spiritual side of it, of course) to that day, he smiled and nodded. I had asthma! I have never had asthma, so I found that quite interesting...and annoying.
All day I thought about what asthma meant to me. I had established the sore throat was merely an on going effect of the asthma - coughing to produce air obviously inflamed my throat.
Asthma tells me I don't want to be here, that I am done. I feel suffocated, angry, unable to vent my emotions, deeply depressed and grief devastated. I pulled faces at this thought, as it didn't quite fit how I believed I felt.
This morning, as I was pondering this and listening to the chant. I was given the final part of the vision. I was a young girl of around 10 or 12 when this massacre had happened. As my people were falling around me, my brother had thrown me on the ground to protect me, landing on top of me when he was killed. I was SO angry. I wanted my chance to die with pride and he had cheated me out of that! I fought against the dead weight of his body until I was so exhausted, I could move no more. Our 'enemies' left, not realising I was still alive.
I wasn't shown what happened after that, but I get a huge sense of displacement, intense anger, feeling cheated out of a glorious death, losing everyone I loved and forced to live a life I would never have chosen. I wanted to scream at my brother for what he did, but that would have disrespected his spirit and the love he had shown.
A couple of days ago I went on facebook to ask if anyone knew of a massacre that took place in 1890, without the group fighting back, and was told of the Massacre at Broken Knee (my knee just happened to be one of the blockages I had when Karen did the treatment - a hint perhaps?!). It took place on the 29th December!
Now I can't say unequivocally that this is where it took place, because my inner skeptic refuses to take anything at face value without heaps of  evidence. (and skepticism is healthy!) The chief was tall and although it doesn't appear he was wearing a single feather on that day, here is a picture I found. His name was
Miniconjou Chief Big Foot, meaning 'Touch the Clouds'.
Perhaps this needed to be healed before the actual date, or maybe there is more to the story, who knows?!
Today I feel peaceful, at peace and grateful for the ability to breathe once again.
...and it all started with a cough and a healing chant....
Who knows what past lives we carry within us that can be healed and accepted? We have all been here many times before, it makes sense we carry soulular and cellular memories. After all, can you remember something from Christmas Day that touched or upset you? Memories are powerful things.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx
PS. As a by the by, I have established who my brother was in that lifetime, and now understand why every time I see him, I feel an irrational sense of betrayal, anger and sadness.
This also explains why I have taken to plaiting my hair a lot more and in a different way in the past two months. I have always loved all things from this culture, but have felt myself strongly drawn to clothing, etc that pertained to this lifetime in a way I couldn't explain before.... Interesting stuff, hey?

Lets talk about our negative thoughts that we ponder every day. Ones that say we aren't good enough, that we don't deserve the good things in life, and many more besides.We all have a little voice in our head, sometimes this voice is our best friend, sometimes it can be uplifting and supportive, but a lot of the time, its just plain mean, nasty and despicable.
I remember the first time someone told me that the inner voice was my ego, I was shocked. How can that be, I asked? I always thought ego was about 'feeling good about yourself' or maybe thinking you were 'too good for everyone else', while at that stage, my one was more focused on tearing me down and ripping me apart. Well, apparently our egos swing both ways...
We need to remember that we give our ego the power it needs to be positive or negative. We choose whether it helps us to feel good about ourselves, no one else can do it for us.
Over time, not only does our negative voice 'rule our world', but it affects everything we do. It filters into our energetic field, making it difficult for us to see how amazing and magnificent we are. It prevents us from seeing how far we have travelled and how much we have overcome within our life. It keeps us in a place of 'limited-ness'. Eventually, this can begin to affect our health and we can experience symptoms like lower back pain, hearing/ear issues, stomach and chest issues. After all anything we direct our attention to, becomes a part of our energy and starts to attract more of the same incidents and people or find ways to prove that voice in our head right. ...and we choose that. We allow it to happen, by either not disputing it, or just allowing it to be the loudest voice in our lives (and head).
So, every time, that little negative voice says something about us, whenever it takes a 'swing' at us from a negative viewpoint, when we hear it say something that tears us down instead of building us up, we need to 'cancel that'.
For example, lets say I dropped something special and broke it. Instead of agreeing with the voice in my head telling me 'I'm stupid, I can't believe I was so careless', I need to say 'Cancel That!'
As I say that I am dismissing that negative thought from my headspace and from my energetic field.
I would then say something positive and uplifting about myself or the situation and if I couldn't do that, I could at least forgive myself for making a mistake, or for simply being human. 'It's okay to feel bad about dropping something. I am allowed to make mistakes. I have so many great qualities, this is only one little mistake.'
Generally, as I say 'Cancel That!', I click my fingers. I do this for two reasons, one to reinforce what I am saying and encourage my mind to be aware that I am creating change, but also, so that if I am out and won't have the opportunity to say 'Cancel That!', at least I can snap my fingers and know exactly what I am doing.
We should be building ourselves us, not tearing ourselves down. We are amazing and unique. We each have chosen to be here, right here, right now, doing whatever it is we are doing. That voice in our head is supposed to be our best friend, not our worst enemy. If that nasty voice was our best friend, we would have ditched it a long time ago.
It's time it either shaped up and did what it was meant to do, or it simply moved out!
Ask yourself, would I talk to my best friend like that? If the answer is no, then it's time to 'cancel' the voice in your head's subscription!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

PS. Remember it took years for that voice to 'develop'. Don't give up when you find retraining it takes some time. Persistence pays off!

Lets talk about karma. Today I was told by someone that the reason why their life has been so crappy is due to the karma they are receiving as a result of their behaviour in past lifetimes. Personally, I believe karma is a belief system. It is also a self flagellating system. There is no karma per se. What there is, is the responsibility for our actions, words and deeds. There is no one keeping a track of all the bad and good things we are doing. We are the 'record keepers'.
Karma is not a punishment eked out by anyone else. It is the belief system of the record keeper that dictates the severity and tenure of our karma. Karma isn't automatic punishment for anything we have ever done. Karma is brought about by our belief that we have done something wrong. Either we believe we should be punished or we don't...
This is why, some people, who have done horrendous things to other people, don't experience karma. They believe they were acting in their best interests and that their actions were justifiable - end of story. It also explains why some people lead charmed lives regardless of their actions, but then begin experiencing misfortune (read: karma) after they develop a conscience or feel responsible.
Sure, we can bring that belief of requiring punishment back in with us, as a cellular or soulular memory, into a following life, but thats all it is, a belief.
As long as we believe we need to be punished, or that we don't deserve a great life, we attract exactly what you are asking for.
To me, its not about serving time or being punished, it is about saying 'That was then, this is now. I am not the same person. I am not accountable for past life deeds and actions'
I am not 'dissing' anyone elses' beliefs or opinion, I am merely stating that my belief system is this, and it is up to everyone to decide what they believe.
We are not here to be judged. We are never found 'wanting'. We have certain lessons we have learnt in each lifetime. We chose them. Some were easy, some were kind, some where self serving, some were lovely, some were cruel, some were sad, and some were extremely difficult. 
There is no 'wrong' to be had, because we chose what experiences we would have, and the ones we would share with others. I know that's difficult to believe when we look at some of the terrible things people do to each other, but for us to learn all the many aspects of the physical plane, we have had to experience the good with the bad. This helps us to see all sides of everyone, the light as well as the shadow. It helps us to accept everyone for who they are without question, without judgement.
However, what we believe in, is what decides or dictates whether karma happens or not....
If we all lived in a way that we accept responsibility for our actions, respect all things and remain aware of what we are doing, not just to others, but also to ourselves, then words like karma would not exist. As record keepers, we would be redundant.
So before you start feeling you are being punished for something you don't recall, perhaps you need to remember this:
You are not a bad person, you never have been. You have just been fulfilling the lessons you chose in each lifetime. There is no blame...only learning!
If you want a way to help you 'let go' of this belief, tomorrow is full moon. Write a 'letter ' releasing yourself from any blame or consequence' and burn it when you are done.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

Late at night, after everyone had left, my Dad and us night angel cousins, would prepare and get comfortable in our sleeping areas on chairs, couches, mattresses. Sometimes I would doze on the mattress, often aware we weren’t alone in the room. There were times it was like being at a large party, as I would overhear snippets of conversation from our combined spirit family. I would look up from my mattress to see if it had been a part of a ‘physical’ conversation and would be rewarded with a blank stare or strange look from everyone else.
I was chatting with my cousins one morning about signs we receive when those we love in spirit visit. Poppa had died over 50 years ago, so we were trying to work out how we’d know if he was in the room. Later that night while I was in Grandma’s room and I heard something I hadn’t heard in a while.
I ran out to the kitchen with a huge grin on my face. ‘Whistling! Poppa used to whistle!’
‘What made you think of that after all these hours?’
I just smiled, knowing that I’d been given an awesome hint.
Grandma’s radio had always been temperamental (with a little help, I’m sure) and when I’d visited her last time, it had driven me crazy as it flicked on and off, the volume went up and down, or it just flat out refused to play some of my favourite CDs. Of course the gospel ones seemed to work no problem…
Most of the time we didn’t bother with it, there were plenty enough of us around the house, we didn’t need background music, until the music angels arrived, anyway. One day the radio started, then stopped. A couple of people tried to get it to work, and I laughingly said maybe it needed me to come over and give it a ‘rev up’.
I had almost reached it when it flicked itself on again. Hmmm...
As I mentioned earlier, my Grandma was deaf and had no hearing aids. I am a light speaker, even when I yell, so I didn’t bother trying to make myself heard. Instead I began talking to Grandma telepathically. At first I wasn’t even aware I was doing it, it just felt normal. It wasn’t until I was telling her something that she clearly disagreed with, and she was shaking her head at me, that I knew she could hear me.
Gradually people had to go back to their homes and our numbers thinned. It was sad to see everyone go, and sad for them to know they were leaving Grandma too. 
The music still played every night and those wonderful food angels kept us well fed.
One day, there were just two of us there with Grandma, my cousin Gae and I. Gae told me a wonderful story about how everyone in their family had the opportunity to say goodbye to her Mum by telephone, even though they couldn’t be there personally. 
I loved the idea and, as we were there alone, the timing was perfect. I sent texts to my Mum, and children, asking them if they wanted to ring and say goodbye to Grandma. I cannot explain the emotion of that time, as they each rang and said their final farewell. Gae and I sobbing as Grandma acknowledged them by making a noise or flickering her eyelids. It was beautiful and heartwarming to know that although they were so far away, they had had the opportunity to do so. There are times when technology is our best friend.
It felt as if something or someone was preventing Grandma from leaving us behind. I have to admit there was a lot of healing taking place, old rifts were patched up, disagreements forgotten and all of us remembering to be grateful for the love Grandma had instilled in us. Still, it felt as if something wasn’t quite ‘finished’ yet.
We began talking to our respective fathers, making sure they had told their Mum that it was okay for her to leave. Some found it harder than others, but they all did it.
As her health deteriorated, there were some who couldn’t bear to see her and we made sure to let them know that they didn’t need to, that she knew they loved her and that was all that mattered. There is no right or wrong when it comes to someone you love passing. It’s about being true to you and not forcing yourself to do something you aren’t comfortable with. All too often people do whats expected and regret that they didn’t just follow their own wants or needs.
Three days before Grandma’s passing, I had a nudge, an urge to take her flying. I’d never done it before, I didn’t even know if I could, but I felt I really needed to try…and it needed to be today. I explained to the other ‘day angels’ what I wanted to do and we pushed a bed up against hers. I lay the opposite way, holding her hand in mine.
Almost before I had a chance to close my eyes, we were off flying. Grandma wasn’t so sure it was a good idea, and let out a groan as we went up. I kept saying ‘It’s okay Grandma, I’m just showing you around. We can go back anytime you like. I just want you to see what’s waiting for you.’
She was okay for a while, and then she pulled my arm, saying ‘Kar go!’ (Norfolk for ‘Can’t go!’)
I told her it was fine, there was nothing to be scared of, she didn’t have to go if she didn’t want to and she could come back anytime she liked. She grabbed my hand and pulled me back down on the bed. We tried again, with the same result. As keen as she was to explore, I knew there was something holding her back and there was no point in pushing her.
Later that night, I was chatting with someone, with the same religious beliefs as Grandma, on the other side of the bed. Now usually I avoid any kind of religious discussion. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion and beliefs, I don’t want to convince them otherwise and I certainly don’t want them to try to tell me what’s what either!
Needless to say, I was shocked when the words came out of my mouth: ‘Do you believe in the afterlife?’
‘No, there's nothing!’
‘So you don’t believe that our spirit family come back to take us home?’
‘No, there is nothing. We are buried and after a thousand years, God calls us from our graves to take us home. What do you believe?’
‘I believe that our spirit family returns to take us back to Source/God’
‘Ah, so you are a Creationist? We are not of God, we are created from the breath of God’
‘Really? I think if you read your bible, you will see that we are made of God and in his own image.’
‘I believe that none shall pass into heaven, unless they accept God.’
‘Ahh, so that means you can be a paedophile, a murderer or such like and as long as you repent before you die, you can still go to heaven?’
‘Well, yes, as long as you have accepted there is only one God. Do you believe in hell?’
‘I don’t believe you have to be a church goer to be a good person. I also believe that hell is what you make it. It can be here on earth if that is what you believe.’
‘So how do you feel about evil?’
‘I believe there is balance in all things. There is no good without bad, no positive without a negative.’
‘How do you work that out?’
‘There has to be good and bad, to create balance. We try so hard to hide our shadow side, but it is in accepting all of ourself, we are able to achieve balance. You can call me a bitch, as if that’s a bad thing, but when I need to stick up for myself, it is important that I tap into my ‘inner bitch’ that rests in my shadow side.’
‘Well what do you think happens when you die?’
‘I believe that dying it is like taking off a suit. Our spirit returns to Source/God and the physical body or suit is discarded.’
‘So why do you think we are here?’
‘We choose various life lessons to learn on this earthly plane. For example, supposing we choose to be born into a life with no money, become rich and then lose it all, but reconcile to the fact that money wasn’t what made us happy in the first place. We go back to God and he says ‘Well done! You did a great job!’’
‘And what if we didn’t achieve all that?’
‘Then he still says ‘Well done! You did a great job!’’
‘So, what is your take on the Godhead?’
About now, I’m thinking I have bitten off more than I can chew, but I can see Grandma is listening intently to everything that is being said.
‘Hmm, you better explain what that is and I will give you my opinion, if I can.’
‘Well, there’s God, the father, Jesus, who came down here to show us the error of our ways and then there’s the Holy Spirit.’
‘Ahh! So what you’re saying is that there is God, the Creator, the Source. Then there’s Jesus, who lived a physical life here on earth and then there’s the Holy Spirit, which is our soul or life force that goes back to God, the Creator.’
There was silence for a moment, as he thought about what I had said. I changed the subject and left the room a little while later. Not one person had wandered into the room during our half hour discussion, so I knew there was a reason it had happened.
Later, I overheard him talking to one of my cousins, saying ‘It’s amazing what you learn that’s not in the manual.’
Dare I mention I was doing a victory dance in the hallway about then? I now knew why Grandma felt it hard to believe there were spirit family in the room or that we could fly. Within her belief system, she probably thought she was hallucinating.
I couldn’t have had a conversation like that in my younger days. It is only now I realise how important it is to respect others beliefs and not try to sway them, but perhaps to ‘create a question’, so they can look at things from a different perspective.
Okay, that’s enough for now for part 2. I’ll finish Grandma’s journey in the next part.
With love, respect and integrity
Love Cherie xx

Sometimes the strangest things push our buttons. It can be the way someone looks at us, the way they act or speak to us. It can be the way the world looks today, it can be the way it feels and it can just be how we feel.
Quite often I tell my clients they need to write the 'Because..' letter. When something makes us angry or fearful, we can use this as a strategy for finding out why we feel this way.
So, if you are feeling cranky with the world or a specific someone and you can't really explain why, maybe this is a good thing for you to try too.
Start your letter with a sentence that says how you feel right now. For example,' I'm angry at Simon'. At the end put 'because'. Start a new line and follow on from that first sentence. Add 'because' again. Keep doing this until you run out of things to write...don't finish too soon, allow whatever thought pops into your head to be written down. Don't overthink it. 
You will know when you're done...but don't stop because you subconsciously don't want to know the answer.
I love doing this because you just never know where it might end up. For example, it could turn out that you are angry with Simon because he took the last piece of cake and somewhere along the way you remembered that your younger brother always did that and your Mum always let him 'get away with it'. 
Sometimes the things that bother us the most that we can't explain have roots deep in our childhood. Once we have worked out what they are, we can heal that part of us and move on.
Alternatively, you can do it for something that's good in your life. It may turn out that the reason why you like red roses is because your Great Aunt Freda, who used to give you chocolate cake wore a fragrance called red rose...or she had an apron with a red rose on it. There's nothing like a pleasant memory we can call upon whenever we see red
It's an interesting way to look at things, isn't it? As we unravel those reasons, we also heal some of those outdated belief systems from when we were children and adults told us life was black and white while we were exploring the greys! 

About nine years ago I had a flashback while my husband and I were horsing around. The room changed for a moment in time. We were in a room with stone walls. I saw heavy drapes and strange old fashioned furnishings. When I looked down at Butch, his face was slightly different and he had long curly dark hair as he laughed up at me. He was wearing clothes that were typical of a nobleman of that era. I, however, was wearing a barmaid type dress, complete with push up bodice. We were happy and I felt sure we had been in love within that lifetime too. It felt so real and yet surreal, I could hear the fire crackling behind me and the animal skins below my knees....and then it was gone...
Although I mentioned it to a few people and wrote it in my diary, I completely forgot about it until last Thursday...
I was lying in bed, sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was thinking about the grief expedition I'm on and wondered aloud whether there was more to why it was so all-consuming at times.
Past life healing has been nudging me a lot these past few months so I asked my guides and angels if there was more to my grief 'pain' and could they show me if I had any past life issues I needed to look at.
I was instantly taken back to that scene I described earlier. This time I wasn't a partcipant, but an observer.  In this past life, Butch had been a nobleman who had 'sought out my company' while he waited to get married. Although I worked in a tavern, I had a strong moral virtue and he had to work hard before I would agree to go to his bed. I was about 20, had a pretty face that always smiled and long red curly hair. We had lots of fun and laughs and I think we fell in love, even though it was never destined to be any more.
His future wife knew of our dalliance, but was resigned to it at first. After a while she began to question the duration of it and his reply was 'She amuses me.'
I fell pregnant and confided in my best friend, who then told the future wife. To prevent me doing any further damage, his wife to be arranged for me to be brutalised and beaten by some local louts.
I was then dumped on the side of the road. Although my injuries were horrific, I still carried the baby full term, leaving our son at an abbey where I stayed until he was born.
I couldn't bear to leave him, but I couldn't bear him to see how his mother looked. My left eye socket had been moved up and the bone had mended in such a way as to leave that eye unable to shut properly. My nose had been broken, as had my jaw, and my hearing had been affected. I now had a hideously deformed lump where my right shoulder should be and my arm was almost useless from having my arms pinned back. My beautiful red hair turned white and stringy almost overnight and I limped quite badly. I was so ugly, I felt ugly and I had lost all joy for life.
I walked painfully out of the village and spent the rest of my life in an old cottage in the mountains with an owl, a rat and a dog. I found a sort of pleasure discovering about herbs and flowers. People in the village closest to me thought I was a witch and asked for potions, which I made from nature.
The grief I felt about love lost and knowing I'd never see my nobleman again felt very real and I experienced this pain, even as an observer.
I died many years later, while gathering wild flowers on the mountainside, falling to my death on the rocks below.
As the scene disappeared and I returned to my bedroom, I asked my angels and guides for healing and realised there were a lot of similarities between my beliefs in my current life and those that I would have had in that one.  I never knew why groups of loud loutish men made me nervous. I've had serious shoulder problems for years...and yes, it's the right one! About the same time my shoulder began giving me grief, pain in my lower back sometimes affected the way I walked.
There have been a few Aha! moments since that day, as I realise some of my belief systems are cellular memories I've brought in with me this lifetime.
with love respect and integrity
Cherie xx

Sometimes we can experience situations or issues that repeat within our life that can be the leftover residue of a past existence. These can be unexplained symptoms, relationship problems, certain things that trigger a strong response from us or repetitve events, to name a few.
These can make us feel as if everyone is treating us unfairly and it must be a 'pattern' we attract. They can also cause severe reactions when things happen in our life. We don't understand why we've responded in such a way, sometimes we're even shocked at how we acted as a result.
On a cellular and a soul-ular level, we 'remember' events from our past lives, especially those ones that weren't completed in another lifetime.
For example, if you were stabbed in the throat you may find it difficult to swallow tablets. If molten metal was poured down your throat for speaking out, you may not want to speak your truth in this lifetime. If a huge slab of rock fell on your foot, you may have issues with that same foot within this lifetime.
We are fascinated in past life readings, we all want to hear about a time we were here before, to identify why we have a passion for a specific culture, or why we feel a sense of 'knowing' when we visit other countries.
Most of us (including me) hope it will be positive and uplifting, but sometimes this isn't the case. If we are carrying a 'lesson' we didn't learn in a past lifetime, there may be a disappointment attached to it.
With a past life reading it is important to look at what similarities there are in your past life and your present one to discover whether you have now resolved it within this lifetime or if you need to pay more attention to a particular issue. For example, if you were stabbed in the back by your men during a war, you might ask yourself if you are being 'stabbed in the back' by those you trust at work. 
Learning about a past life doesn't mean you need to get therapy or 'work on' yourself. The most important thing is to acknowledge the past life and it's lessons or pain, compare it to this one and decide whether you have finished with that particular lesson. A healing afterwards can be a good thing, to re-align your soul-ular and cellular body, but an ongoing permanent regular therapy isn't required.
Don't be disappointed if your past life reading isn't as positive or as uplifting as you may have expected. Instead, look truthfully at the lessons you attempted to learn in that lifetime, ask yourself if it's repeating within your present life and does it need closure or do you have it sorted this time around. After you have done that, acknowledge it for what it is and then let it go....
You might be surprised the difference a bit of knowledge makes!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx
 

The other day I was doing a Reiki treatment for a dear friend and client. It was such an amazing experience, I wanted to share it.
The past week or so 'past life healing' has popped into my world in many forms and I was debating whether I was getting a nudge...until I got a shove!
When I begin a treatment, I tell clients what I feel and ask if they have noticed these symptoms or we define them energectically and emotionally. As an empath, I 'feel' what is going on in my client's bodies as we 'connect' energies.
I was receiving a pain in my stomach I could only describe as severe anxiety. When I asked for confirmation, and she told me this happened whenever she was worried about what would happen to her ten year old son if she passed over. I had  severe ringing in my ears and pain in my forehead as we carried on, which we agreed was related to the anxiety as well as feeling disconnected from her spiritual side. 
I asked about her angel wings (located between the shoulder blades) and she said she couldn't feel them anymore. The sensation I had was of them being crushed. Suddenly I had a sharp pain in my left lower back, above my hip bone. I asked if that had any significance. She told me that when she was pregnant she felt like she had torn a ligament or something similar and that it often acted up when she was extremely stressed.
As I sent energy into her shoulders, I could feel a tingling where my angel wings are, and a sensation as if they were being unfurled. At that point of time, she raised her upper back and told me she felt like she needed to adjust how she was lying, because there didn't seem to be enough room between her and the table. We hadn't been speaking at that stage, so this was validation for both of us.
I had a sudden visual of what had happened in her past life. She'd been a soldier, sometime in the Roman era. He was stabbed through the hip in a horrific battle and as he lay there dying, his last thoughts were for his wife and two children. I described his wife Sandra, and mentioned her long black hair.
Instantly my client began to cry, telling me that as a toddler she'd had a strange attachment to a long black wig, wearing it continuously until her mother hid it. She'd always wanted long black hair and was disappointed that it didn't suit her. Having come back as a female this lifetime, she'd wanted to be the woman 'he' had loved in that lifetime.
The position of the hip pain and the stomach anxiety explained why my client had such an intense fear of the future for her child and herself.
I explained that Christophe, the soldier, had helped her to get to where she was right now, but his time was now over and it was time for her to take charge of her life. He had helped her when things had seemed hopeless, when she struggled to keep going, by reminding her of this past life emotion. When things were at their bleakest, the thought of her son had kept her battling on.
Christophe stood before me (as close as he could, I might add!), a handsome man in full battle gear. He would have been around the same age as my client.
It is my belief that when we have a past life guide like Christophe, that as we reach the same age they were when they passed over, this is the time we need to take over.
I thanked Christophe for his assistance in her life thus far, for keeping her on track and reminding her she had much to live for, even when it didn't feel like it. I told him she would now take over and he could go home to Sandra now.  I then asked my client to ensure she did the same.
I had the distinct sensation of the sword being gently removed and the space where it had been, being healed over. My client said she could also feel sensations in that area. We both felt a great sense of peace and love fill the room.
A short time later, as I was packing up, a candle that had been burning during the healing was knocked over - in the opposite direction that the wind was blowing the curtains.... Christophe had left the building!

The next day, my client sent me a text
'Oh wow, that reiki and reading were amazing. I feel amazing, confident, inspired, energetic, peaceful and calm and an amazing secure feeling about what the future holds. It feels like I need to share this feeling of kindness to everyone I know. Feels like the world is my oyster! Never felt like this before. I am in control of my life and feel I can do anything with my head held high! Thank you...

Sometimes we have strange fears and emotions we can't explain. Situations and  events can create a sense of 'knowing' or a repeated reaction to them from our
past lives. We may not remember, but our cells, inner wisdom and energy do.  
It's putting the puzzle together that creates a sense of  understanding and realisation. Isn't it awe-inspiring to know that you may be receiving guidance from another you - for as long as you need it?!!
Thanks to my wonderful friend and client who allowed me to share this as well as her message. x
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

Sometimes we have crazy dreams we can't possibly explain.  I believe dreams are the result of messages our unconscious, our intuition or our guides want us to listen to. Although some of them seem to have such strange content, we can always find a gem within that tells us something we aren't looking at or attending to within our lives.
Our subconscious uses dreams to help us to think about things we are repressing or trying to bury/hide from ourselves. It's usually a wake up call. It very rarely means exactly what the dream portrays. Our subconscious speaks to us in pictures we understand and the emotions that go with them.
Dreams aren't always as straightforward as we think they are.
Sometimes our subconscious or our guides are trying to tell us something
important. Each persons dream will be unique to them and their thought patterns,
values and mindsets, so we need to unravel these for you to discover what your
dream is trying to tell you.
The only time our guides and spirit family can get into our minds is when we are asleep or meditating - when our busy minds are at rest. Otherwise it's like trying to cross a busy highway, it's hit or miss for our spiritual companions.
Although dream books are extremely helpful, if a definition doesn't resonate with you, then you may find it difficult to make sense of it. Everyone's dream is unique to them, as what one thing symbolises a certain thing in one person's mind isn't always the same in another, so it's important to look at the symbols in a dream and what they mean to you. Once we establish what they represent, we may discover you have an Aha! moment. Once you have reached this stage you may find the dreams stop because your subconscious has made it's point.

 Here's an example of a dream to give you an idea of what I mean.
Supposing you had a dream where you were in a house, pregnant and very unhappy. Your partner was extremely happy. Next thing you were in a car and it spun out of control...and then you woke up.
These are some of the questions I would ask you:
Being pregnant to me means you have an idea, something you are thinking
of doing or a project, etc. What does pregnant mean to you? When you think of
being pregnant, what do you associate it with?
For me a baby is usually about a new beginning, so it could be a fresh start, new venture, something different about to happen in your life. What does this mean to you, not in actually holding one or having one. Is it a sense of fulfilment? A burden? A struggle? Contentment?
If you knew the sex of the baby, to me a girl would mean it is either to do with your femininity or something that affects you personally. So are you acknowledging your feminine side? Do you feel desirable? Are you being all you can be? A boy would be about being strong, taking action, feeling confident in yourself. Are you feeling overwhelmed by the will of others? Do you feel stuck? Are you feeling unhappy or stifled at work? Do you want to change your career direction?
Are you and your partner happy? Do you feel something is lacking? Do you feel less than desirable? Is there something you want to sort out within your relationship but don't know where to start? Do you have an idea for a venture that you would like to pursue but you aren't saying it out loud? Are you buying a house or taking a
risk financially and it is worrying you? Do you want to buy a house or take a risk and your partner doesn't?
I believe a house is usually symbolic of our soul, the place where we truly live. Do you feel happy in yourself? Do you feel you are being all you can be? Do you feel like there is more to life?
Are there any other specifics in the dream? Rooms? Colours? Where do you think you are? Country? Time, as in present time? Is anyone else around you? What else is happening?
If it's a kitchen, what does a kitchen symbolise to you? For me a kitchen is all about drudgery and boredom, never-ending sameness. If it's a bedroom, what does that mean? Is it about your inner sanctuary? Is it your cave away from the world? Is it a place for sleeping? Or is it a place full of romance and sex?
When I define my own dreams, a car typically symbolises our journey through life. What type of car was it? Is it your current car? Is it better? Is it worse? What colour iss it? What does that colour mean to you? Were you cramped? What does a car mean to you personally? What springs into your mind immediately when you think about a car accident? Could it be a fear for the person/people in the car's safety? Or for your relationship with yourself? Does it feel like your life is out of control, that you aren't driving your journey?
Is there a part of you waiting for something bad to happen to you....your partner, family or your relationship. Do you feel as if it's too good to be true? Do you feel unworthy or that he/she could/should have someone better?  Do you feel like your relationship has changed for better? for worse?

It is important to break your dream up into the bigger symbols and then look
at what each one means to you. I used to write down each item and list what they
represented to me; what I feel when I think about them and anything else that
popped into my mind. As I did so, I would usually have an Aha! moment and
understand the message. I love the challenge of defining what my message is. In
fact I'm disappointed when I don't get to dream! Having done it for so many
years, I don't need to write it down anymore. I wake up in the morning and think
'Okay, I need to address that issue, or I need to do that for me, etc'

Of course there is another theory as well.  As I say in another chapter, I believe we currently live on many planes, that major decisions we make impact how our life pans out (similar to the movie Sliding Doors). Generally it feels like we are a bystander, or that they can't see us. However, when we visit these alternate planes in our dreams it is possible to feel all the pain, emotions and anguish, because we are that person too. So in a different plane, someone may have been killed or the outcome may have been different.
I know that when I 'visit' another plane, although I am watching what is happening, I feel all the emotions of the person in the dream so acutely as if I was experiencing it, and in a way I am.
I'd be willing to bet that the next dream you have, you will look at it differently.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx
(picture by Zen Gardener)
 


  
 

(excerpt from my book)
We are each given guides to help us along our life path. Some are from past lives, whether they are friends, family or enemies. Some of our guides 'owe' us for a misdeed in a past life. Others have a specific personality trait we need to draw upon and some are here because they agreed to help us during our
journey. There is no limit to the number of guides we have, some are here for a specific time frame or until we resolve an issue or past life emotion we have brought through into this life and others are here for our entire life.
I've had many guides through my life and I'm going to use some of them as an example of why they were here.
I have (had):
Alfie, a 'boat' man who did me wrong in a past life, messing with my affections and deserting me when I became pregnant. He stands guard over me and helps me rediscover my inner strength. He uses his oar in a way a soldier might stand at attention with a rifle.
Maria, is a spanish dancer, who encourages me to dance and enjoy life.
Carlos is a gypsy I helped to escape when fortune telling was illegal in Spain. He is repaying a debt and tried for many years to get me to accept my psychic-ness.
Sarah was my younger sister, who had played for my parent's affections and landed me in trouble many times because she was cute and I was 'old enough to know better'. She was here to show me that I can still be child-like and use my imagination.
I also have a High Priestess, whose name I've never known. I also was a High Priestess in that lifetime and we were like sisters. She spent a fair amount of years trying to help me see the divine being within me. I died a horrible death in that
lifetime, swearing never to put myself in that position ever again. Over time,
she has convinced me that times are different and it's safe to be all I am. She appeared in my life at a time when I was heartsick and didn't want to  be a part of this world. She would assume my reflection in the mirror. Synchronistically, the time she began to be a part of my life and when I was giving up on life is about the age I had died in that previous lifetime. We wrote a contract on the etheric plane where she agreed to help me through that difficult time.
Peter is a son I miscarried in this lifetime. He appears as a 15 year old, because that is the age he 'chooses' to be. He helps me to remember how amazing I am, that I am lovable even when I feel I'm at my most unlovable! He knows everything about me and still loves me unconditionally. He gets a bit annoyed with me sometimes when I forget to do the same, or to ask for help.
Brian has been with me since birth. He's a bit of a straight talker and doesn't
mind giving me a bitch slap from the other side now and then. I don't believe we
shared any lifetimes together, he just signed up to be my babysitter! He helps
me in all things.
Butch, my husband, is also around me, helping me to learn to live again and he puts in a good word with other people's guides to help smooth the way. I'm told he feels responsible for leaving me to struggle, which is sad and uplifting at the same time. He also makes me realise I am loved and that although his physical presence is gone,I am never alone.
My Grandma is also around me, helping to smooth the way and provide comfort when she can.
I also have a guide who is a Light Spirit. His name is complicated to say, so I just call him Sam. He's taller than the ceiling in my room and has to bend in half if he visits. I have met with him in a meditation and danced with my feet resting on his. He carries me effortlessly and I feel such joy around him. 
Guides can come and go continually. They don't just stand around waiting for
us to need them. They have 'lives' to lead as well. I know that Carlos, Sarah
and the High Priestess are no longer around me. They have achieved what they
were here to do. The rest are still around me, and I know Ihave a few new ones waiting in the wings as I evolve, appearing as my needs and lessons change with me.
Some people see their guides, others feel, sense or hear them. I could feel
Alfie, can hear Brian and I would see the High Priestess as I looked in  the mirror. 
I love all my guides and spirit family, they each bring something different
to my life, so I know I have all the bases covered. I know that whatever happens
I can call on them for assistance. I know they whisper to me as I sleep, hug me
when I'm miserable and inspire me to be all I can be.  They laugh and cry along with me, and will cheer from the sidelines when I most need it. However they never interfere with my free will, and will only step in to offer guidance or assistance if I ask them. If I have a difficult issue with someone or something, they will 'chat' to the guides of others involved to help resolve the situation.
I believe that sometimes the orbs that show up in photos are imprints of the energy from our spirit family and guides. I also believe that not every reading or visit to a psychic will immediately allow us access to all our guides. Sometimes they only step forward when we need to know about them and the reason th
Discovering who our guides are and why they are around us is important. We are better able to see what challenge we are facing and know we aren't alone. We never are, it is only our perception that we are.
As beings of source, we are always connected, even if we don't see or realise it at the time. There is a lot of comfort just in the knowing!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

I was talking to someone about honesty, being honest to and with ourselves. This person was caught up in the idea that being honest with yourself and others was more about confronting someone about their behaviour or pulling them up when they went out of their way to hurt you.
This isn't what being about honest or true to yourself is all about. When we confront someone in anger, nothing we do or say will change who that person is or how they behave. It just creates more conflict and ammunition for the situation to snowball.
If someone tried to change our behaviour, would we? Could we? We are who we are, it isn't as if we can flip a switch and suddenly we are a different person or act differently.
The secret to living on this earthly plane is to accept everyone for who they are. We don't have to love them, or even like them, but we can recognise and acknowledge the divine spark that lies within.
There are people in my life I don't particularly like, but there is a part of them I love, so when we are together, that's what I focus on.
Don't be drawn into other people's dramas, because that means you own what they are talking about or angry about.
Every time you answer them or refute something, they gain power and you lose it.
Loving yourself for being honest isn't about confronting people, it's knowing that you are being truthful to yourself. You have the ability to tell yourself the truth, that you don't like how you are being treated, that you wouldn't do it to anyone else and its okay to be pissed off and hurt...but its also okay not to confront or take it any further. Acknowledging our emotions and feelings is extremely important when being honest with ourselves and true to who we are 
Everyone has their own 'map' of how an event took place, no two maps are the same, so you will never achieve anything by trying to get someone else to read 'your' map and admit its better. All you can do is acknowledge the maps are different and carry on with your life.
I'm not saying there is no reason to ever confront someone, but sometimes, it really
isn't worth wasting your energy when the other person is so headset in their own
'stuff' and won't listen anyway!
There are times when speaking your truth is vital, when you are being accused wrongfully of something, when you feel intimidated, undermined and many other occasions. However it's important to choose what it is you want to clash with people over, whether it's worth the aggravation, or whether you will just create more tension and achieve nothing.
It is also imprtant to remember that some people take their frustrations out on us when their life isn't going well or they are struggling for any number of reasons. I'm not saying this is right, but we have all lashed out at some stage when someone has crossed our paths at a time when we are irritated, angry or upset. And all too often, if two people are having issues, the effect can end up being a to and fro of words and accusations as both parties seek to find a way to release their pent up emotions and prove that they are in the right. Given that we have different maps and
Lets try to approach all situations with a clear head and a clear heart. Ask ourselves, is it worth creating friction for? Will it change the person? Will it change the situation? Can I handle this differently? Shall I speak my truth? Shall I walk away?
When we know the answer, we can then act accordingly...in honesty and within our self truth. 
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx



 

We all know someone who we feel has 'done us wrong' in our lives,  At a function the other day I met up with someone I had not spoken to for a long time.  At first it was awkward, I am ashamed to say I tried desperately to avoid this person because I felt hurt by her actions many years ago.  I decided this was a silly way to act.  I didn't want to spend my life hiding from anyone, all I had to do was speak my truth, resolve the issue and move on. 
There had been many times I had thought of this person and mourned the loss of our friendship, but I was stuck in my own 's***' and wouldn't do anything about it.  I know I'm not alone here, many of us do this.  Rather than sort it out, we swallow those horrible emotions and pretend we don't feel any pain or sadness.  We build a wall around our heart, brick by brick.  Back to my story...
We ended up talking for a while and although we reconnected, I still felt a block around my heart, so obviously just talking about 'stuff' wasn't going to make this go away. 
Wandering away from the crowd we were able to discuss the events that had resulted in me 'cutting' this person out of my life.  I was surprised to discover she too had missed our friendship and her stomach churned whenever she thought about what might have happened.  Although I had walked away from our friendship, I had never explained why, so she hadn't had the luxury of closure.  I, of course, believed she wouldn't notice I was no longer around...
As we amicably ironed out all the miscommunications, misconceptions and hurts, we realised we were both keen to renew our friendship despite what had happened, that we valued our friendship enough to start again.  Together we laughed, we cried, we hugged...
I learnt a lot from this experience. 
 - We never really know the repercussions a choice or action we make impacts on others
 - Releasing a hurt can be incredibly liberating
 - Sometimes our perception of others neglect or rejection may just be that - our perception!
 - It isn't until we have forgiven an event, action, situation or a person, we realise how it was stored within our body - all of a sudden there is space in our heart for love instead of fear or hate
As I drove home the sky seemed bluer, my heart was lighter and my soul was singing.  The feeling was so amazing I wanted to contact everyone I felt had ever wronged me so I could feel this way forever.
Do you have some unfinished business that could be transformed into a sense of awesomeness?  Try it, I definitely recommend it!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx