You will need:
Candle of colour choice/fragrance
Pick a time when you wont be disturbed.
Turn off your mobile phone, etc
Play soft background music if you feel it will help you to 'connect'.
Sit quietly before you light the candle and imagine a beautiful bubble of protective energy around you and your candle -you choose the colour!
Ask your guides and angels for assistance and ask that only that which is for your highest good may enter your bubble.
You can place a photo of the person you are trying to connect with either under the candle or beside it.
*Intent is everything. If you dont have a photo, simply write their name on a piece of paper
Light your candle and just sit quietly while it gets into a 'state of rhythm'.  
When we first light a candle it either has a little time it needs to get going, or if it has been used before, it may need time to 'get past' the wax etc from last time to be burning in the 'now'.
When you are ready ask your loved one to 'come in'. You don't need to speak it out loud if you don't want to. If you would prefer to 'think talk' then simply state your intent that your loved one has access to your loving thoughts.
Be aware of the temperature of the room, how you feel and what you can sense during this time.
Wait a bit. If the candle begins to flicker differently, or you feel you have waited long enough, ask if your loved one is there. Ask for a tall flame to signify a 'Yes'. (Now as I am a skeptic a tall flame isn't enough for me. I tend to say 'a little bit higher please', unless of course it is a proper tall flame!)
Ask questions that require 'yes' and 'no' and take notice of the flame.
Sometimes, as I stare into the flame, I can see my spirit family, but everyone is different and what works for one, may not work for all.
Using a candle may not work as well as you would like the first time, but keep trying. Practise makes perfect, not just for you, but for your loved one in spirit as well.  I can remember being so disheartened when I first started using a candle flame and walking away in disgust. As I turned my back, the flame went really really high and separated the tip of the flame  with a 'poof'! The person I was  with suggested I had just been given not just a lesson in patience, but a bit of a telling off as well!
When you are finished thank your loved ones, your guides and angels for their assistance.
Don't just keep doing it when nothing happens out of stubbornness, when nothing is happening.  Spirit also have things to do or places to be and you may have caught them at a bad time. Try again later!
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

Lets talk about our negative thoughts that we ponder every day. Ones that say we aren't good enough, that we don't deserve the good things in life, and many more besides.We all have a little voice in our head, sometimes this voice is our best friend, sometimes it can be uplifting and supportive, but a lot of the time, its just plain mean, nasty and despicable.
I remember the first time someone told me that the inner voice was my ego, I was shocked. How can that be, I asked? I always thought ego was about 'feeling good about yourself' or maybe thinking you were 'too good for everyone else', while at that stage, my one was more focused on tearing me down and ripping me apart. Well, apparently our egos swing both ways...
We need to remember that we give our ego the power it needs to be positive or negative. We choose whether it helps us to feel good about ourselves, no one else can do it for us.
Over time, not only does our negative voice 'rule our world', but it affects everything we do. It filters into our energetic field, making it difficult for us to see how amazing and magnificent we are. It prevents us from seeing how far we have travelled and how much we have overcome within our life. It keeps us in a place of 'limited-ness'. Eventually, this can begin to affect our health and we can experience symptoms like lower back pain, hearing/ear issues, stomach and chest issues. After all anything we direct our attention to, becomes a part of our energy and starts to attract more of the same incidents and people or find ways to prove that voice in our head right. ...and we choose that. We allow it to happen, by either not disputing it, or just allowing it to be the loudest voice in our lives (and head).
So, every time, that little negative voice says something about us, whenever it takes a 'swing' at us from a negative viewpoint, when we hear it say something that tears us down instead of building us up, we need to 'cancel that'.
For example, lets say I dropped something special and broke it. Instead of agreeing with the voice in my head telling me 'I'm stupid, I can't believe I was so careless', I need to say 'Cancel That!'
As I say that I am dismissing that negative thought from my headspace and from my energetic field.
I would then say something positive and uplifting about myself or the situation and if I couldn't do that, I could at least forgive myself for making a mistake, or for simply being human. 'It's okay to feel bad about dropping something. I am allowed to make mistakes. I have so many great qualities, this is only one little mistake.'
Generally, as I say 'Cancel That!', I click my fingers. I do this for two reasons, one to reinforce what I am saying and encourage my mind to be aware that I am creating change, but also, so that if I am out and won't have the opportunity to say 'Cancel That!', at least I can snap my fingers and know exactly what I am doing.
We should be building ourselves us, not tearing ourselves down. We are amazing and unique. We each have chosen to be here, right here, right now, doing whatever it is we are doing. That voice in our head is supposed to be our best friend, not our worst enemy. If that nasty voice was our best friend, we would have ditched it a long time ago.
It's time it either shaped up and did what it was meant to do, or it simply moved out!
Ask yourself, would I talk to my best friend like that? If the answer is no, then it's time to 'cancel' the voice in your head's subscription!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

PS. Remember it took years for that voice to 'develop'. Don't give up when you find retraining it takes some time. Persistence pays off!