We all have parts of us that we don’t like or we keep hidden away. We often have the belief that is others knew what we are really like, they would avoid us or see us in a different light.

As we were growing up, our elders and mentors told us what was acceptable behaviour and what wasn’t. We learned ‘society’s laws’: ‘Don’t be greedy!’ ‘It’s not nice to hit.’ ‘It’s rude to say what you are thinking.’ We also learned that a lot of what we enjoyed doing or did naturally, was disapproved by those around us.

Over time, we developed a set of beliefs that reflected what we had been told as children. We didn’t realise we had adopted them and made them our own, they were just a part of who we were once we reached adulthood. We smothered our anger when we were angry. We took the smallest piece of cake, especially if we were women. We learned to monitor what we were saying and to apply a filter before we spoke.

Eventually, we became a ‘variation’ of who we really were. We wore specific masks that reflected the company we kept, acting in a way that was acceptable for that particular group of friends or person. We forgot that all parts of us make up the complete whole of who we really are. When we thought about sharing ourselves totally, we felt the fear of being abandoned and rejected or judged, as we were during childhood.

The problem is that we are a sum of all characteristics, emotions and attributes. We may believe that hiding them is what we need to do, but lets imagine how liberating it would be to be ‘us’, totally and unconditionally? There is nothing wrong with us. All things in this world have balance. There is night and day, light and dark, light and heavy, good and bad, tall and short. Why should we be any different? Can you picture a world without symmetry, if all things were only portrayed or apparent in one half of the balance, instead of the whole?

Well, the same is true of us. We may not love our shadow side, but we need to understand it is a vital part of us. If we didn’t have anger to tap into, how could we be assertive and stick up for ourselves? If we weren’t greedy, how would we ensure we had the fair share that we deserve? If we didn’t say what we were thinking, at least some of the time, how would others know what we needed?

All too often, we believe our shadow side of us is the bad or evil part of us. However in reality, it helps us to maintain the balance that ensures we live life totally and unconditionally as who we truly are. If we looked at those outdated belief systems we accepted as our own, when we were children, really looked at them, we would see them for what they are….restrictions and rules that prevent us from loving ourselves in totality. We are here to be ‘us’, to accept us as we truly are, not to live as someone else’s opinion or perception. Embracing all aspects of who our self is the first step toward who we chose to be in this lifetime.

with love, respect and integrity
Cherie

I'd like to tell you the story of two clients of mine, Pamela and Janine. They were roughly the same age and had similar life stories.
Both of these ladies were in their second marriage and had been in a relationship with their current husband for 15 plus years.
Both had had unhappy first marriages, but it appeared to be an incompatibility problem. Both of their ex husbands had also moved on and were in happy relationships.
When they came to me for their first visit, they both had much angst and anger directed to their respective exes, as well as a lot of pain attached to these past relationships.
It was strange to be seeing two women with exactly the same issue. Although they were happy in their current relationships, they resented the fact that their ex husbands were also happy. They had a lot of 'unfinished business' between them and it was affecting their health and their weight.
Over a period of six months, we talked about their expectations, their hopes, their dreams, their pain and how they could move on from the situation in a positive and uplifting manner.
I used reiki healing, sound fork therapy and crystal healing, as well as 'love yourself' boot camp, Numerology and Psychic insight.
Pamela was keen to create change in her life. She was tired of being angry. She wasn't happy with her weight, which had eventuated into Type 2 diabetes. She worked really hard at forgiving everyone involved, including herself. She did regular release rituals as well as abundance rituals (in fact I think she still does).
Janine was not so eager. She believed everything was everyone else's fault and there was no way she needed to release anything or forgive anyone, including herself. As far as she was concerned she was blameless and she wasn't going to let anyone get away with what they had done to her. They owed her!
After 6 months, they both decided they were ready to 'go it alone'. Surprisingly, I have heard from them both recently.
Pamela has lost weight, is happier and more at peace with herself, her past and her future. She has reversed her diabetes and life is great. Her current marriage has gone from strength to strength and they have even been in a social environment with her ex and his partner, which has resulted in a friendlier atmosphere around them.
Janine has doubled her weight, is still surly, awaiting apologies from everyone she ever knew, especially her ex husband. She is bloated, has blood pressure problems and tells me that I didn't 'heal her'. I explained that healing has to come from within, but she doesn't see it that way.
All too often we have traumatic, sad or aggravating events in our lives, but we choose what happens next. We can choose to heal, or we can choose to hold on to that pain.
When I look at Pamela and Janine, I know which path I want to choose. How about you?
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx