I read somewhere that if you think your life is or was a mess, then your 'mess' is your message. It has stuck in my head for several days now and I decided to share my mess.
Not so long ago I didn't believe in myself. Love myself? I didn't evn think I liked myself. 
When someone we love passes away we can lose our identity. We are no longer a wife/husband/family member/friend we were when they were alive. This is what happened to me. I woke up one day and realised I didn't know who I was any more. I knew and loved the person I was when Butch was alive, but the person I woke up with that day was a complete stranger. I didn't even know what I liked, what was my favourite food, song or movie. Who was I really? ...and what would happen if I didn't have any redeeming features or attributes? What if what I believed about me was 'all there was' to me?
I never looked in a mirror, and if I was forced to, I would only see my hair or my teeth - whatever I was concentrating on. I was terribly hard on myself, always delving into self-criticism and putting myself down, not just in my thoughts, but around others as well. I would shrug off any comments people made that were complimentary, telling myself they were just 'blowing smoke up my bum'!
One day I woke up and thought to myself 'I am worthy, I am special and only I can fix the parts of me that are broken.
I started off with my 30 day belief system, where I listed everything I believed I wanted to do and revisited the list for the 30 days. I was surprised to find a lot of the 'stuff' that had been on my list originally weren't my truths, they were other people's perceptions and thoughts of what I should be doing. I had accumulated a lot of outdated limiting belief systems during my life and accepted them as being my truth.
I began looking at what I liked about myself and why I should choose life. I came up with three things: 'My family and friends love me'. 'My family would miss me'. 'My friends might miss me'. I struggled to come up with anything else. It didn't escape my notice that all the things that were keeping me here were all about everyone else.
Having shocked myself with these truths, I decided I needed to do something about my life; find, acknowledge and celebrate what was lovable about me. I'd love to tell you it was easy, that I never gave up, but lying isn't something I do well.
I didn't have anyone I could tell my terrible secret to - after all, I thought, who else would understand that I had no self love at all.  So I chipped away at 'finding myself for three long years until one day I looked in the woman in the mirror and she wasn't looking at me with pity or hate. In fact, she was poking her tongue out at me with love in her eyes!
Learning to love ourself is so important,. It's one of the things we should be able to do unquestioning, to love ourselves unconditionally, in spite of our faults and shadow side. These are all the things that make us unique and perfect to be the person we chose to be in this lifetime! It empowers us and allows us to 'be'.
Later, I discovered loving yourself is not something everyone does, that a lot if us have problems accepting ourselves for various reasons, whether it's personality, shape, size, beauty or intelligence.
This is why I created the 30 Day Love Yourself Boot camp, so others could experience the freedom and joy that comes with loving ourselves unquestioningly and fully. I have come through a three year self imposed Boot Camp and my life will never be the same! I love me, I love all things about me and I want everyone else to feel the same way about themselves!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xxx

The other day I was doing a Reiki treatment for a dear friend and client. It was such an amazing experience, I wanted to share it.
The past week or so 'past life healing' has popped into my world in many forms and I was debating whether I was getting a nudge...until I got a shove!
When I begin a treatment, I tell clients what I feel and ask if they have noticed these symptoms or we define them energectically and emotionally. As an empath, I 'feel' what is going on in my client's bodies as we 'connect' energies.
I was receiving a pain in my stomach I could only describe as severe anxiety. When I asked for confirmation, and she told me this happened whenever she was worried about what would happen to her ten year old son if she passed over. I had  severe ringing in my ears and pain in my forehead as we carried on, which we agreed was related to the anxiety as well as feeling disconnected from her spiritual side. 
I asked about her angel wings (located between the shoulder blades) and she said she couldn't feel them anymore. The sensation I had was of them being crushed. Suddenly I had a sharp pain in my left lower back, above my hip bone. I asked if that had any significance. She told me that when she was pregnant she felt like she had torn a ligament or something similar and that it often acted up when she was extremely stressed.
As I sent energy into her shoulders, I could feel a tingling where my angel wings are, and a sensation as if they were being unfurled. At that point of time, she raised her upper back and told me she felt like she needed to adjust how she was lying, because there didn't seem to be enough room between her and the table. We hadn't been speaking at that stage, so this was validation for both of us.
I had a sudden visual of what had happened in her past life. She'd been a soldier, sometime in the Roman era. He was stabbed through the hip in a horrific battle and as he lay there dying, his last thoughts were for his wife and two children. I described his wife Sandra, and mentioned her long black hair.
Instantly my client began to cry, telling me that as a toddler she'd had a strange attachment to a long black wig, wearing it continuously until her mother hid it. She'd always wanted long black hair and was disappointed that it didn't suit her. Having come back as a female this lifetime, she'd wanted to be the woman 'he' had loved in that lifetime.
The position of the hip pain and the stomach anxiety explained why my client had such an intense fear of the future for her child and herself.
I explained that Christophe, the soldier, had helped her to get to where she was right now, but his time was now over and it was time for her to take charge of her life. He had helped her when things had seemed hopeless, when she struggled to keep going, by reminding her of this past life emotion. When things were at their bleakest, the thought of her son had kept her battling on.
Christophe stood before me (as close as he could, I might add!), a handsome man in full battle gear. He would have been around the same age as my client.
It is my belief that when we have a past life guide like Christophe, that as we reach the same age they were when they passed over, this is the time we need to take over.
I thanked Christophe for his assistance in her life thus far, for keeping her on track and reminding her she had much to live for, even when it didn't feel like it. I told him she would now take over and he could go home to Sandra now.  I then asked my client to ensure she did the same.
I had the distinct sensation of the sword being gently removed and the space where it had been, being healed over. My client said she could also feel sensations in that area. We both felt a great sense of peace and love fill the room.
A short time later, as I was packing up, a candle that had been burning during the healing was knocked over - in the opposite direction that the wind was blowing the curtains.... Christophe had left the building!

The next day, my client sent me a text
'Oh wow, that reiki and reading were amazing. I feel amazing, confident, inspired, energetic, peaceful and calm and an amazing secure feeling about what the future holds. It feels like I need to share this feeling of kindness to everyone I know. Feels like the world is my oyster! Never felt like this before. I am in control of my life and feel I can do anything with my head held high! Thank you...

Sometimes we have strange fears and emotions we can't explain. Situations and  events can create a sense of 'knowing' or a repeated reaction to them from our
past lives. We may not remember, but our cells, inner wisdom and energy do.  
It's putting the puzzle together that creates a sense of  understanding and realisation. Isn't it awe-inspiring to know that you may be receiving guidance from another you - for as long as you need it?!!
Thanks to my wonderful friend and client who allowed me to share this as well as her message. x
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

Why is it that when we reach adulthood we have such limiting belief systems? Why is it that we get more hung up on what we can't do than what we can't?
From an early age, we are told what not to do, who we are and what we should do. Although this is an incredibly great excuse not to move forward or change, once we have left home or become adults we can't really use those excuses any more.
Although our parents, teachers and extended family may have originally shaped and instilled into us beliefs that don't serve our highest good, we need to take responsibility for our actions now we are all 'growed up'.
I remember hearing about a survey that said most criminals in jail in 1995 were bottlefed as babies, which statistically, presumed that if you were bottlefed, due to circumstances beyond your control, you were going to have a criminal record. This just sounds like a handy excuse to bring out when you need it - like playing poker with an ace up your sleeve!
Belief systems are just that, they are things you believe about yourself, but are they your truth? No, they aren't. All too often we absorb other's belief systems and perceptions. We believe we aren't pretty enough, we aren't clever enough, brave enough, talented enough.....but how do we know unless we believe in ourselves enough to try?
I've been told I have an attitude problem by many, but I believe that is their issue, not mine. I like my attitude fine, in fact I love it, wholeheartedly and unconditionally! I don't like being told what to do or what is best for me - unless I ask for advice.
Whenever someone tells me I can't do anything, I have this need to prove them wrong. In fact most of what I have achieved in my life is due to what I call my 'push me, pull you' factor. I remember when I was in my twenties I showed an interest in screenprinting and was told 'You couldn't possibly do it, you're not creative enough' (think of a red flag to a bull and you will get an idea of my instant reaction to this kind of comment!) I bought a book and within 3 months, I was selling my screenprinted works of art!
So, when someone tells you that you can't do something, how do you react? Do you say 'You're right'?, Do you think 'I shouldn't have told you about my dream, because now it's shattered? or do you believe in yourself enough to at least give it a try?
Does anyone ever really know what we are capable of? Can they see every aspect of us, every talent, skill and ability we have? Of course not! So why do we allow others to 'rain on our parade', to keep us reined in with their own self-limiting beliefs? We are much more than even we are aware of, but until we try to stretch those limiting boundaries and belief systems, we never get to see the 'all' we are capable of.
And if it doesn't work, if we decide it wasn't for us after all, that's okay. It's not about failure, it's about feedback during our life journey. Screenprinting wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but what I learnt has proved invaluable within other aspects of my life.
When you next want to try something, for goodness sake, try it! You lose nothing by trying and you gain so much, even if you can't see it at the time. If someone tells you that you can't do something or you shouldn't, and you know with all your being you want to follow that course or dream, then shake off that 'push me, pull you attitude' that resides in every one of us and prove you can - not for them, but for you.
Acknowledge all that you are, all you can be and be proud of everything you do. You're amazing! Live it! Breathe it! Be it!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

When my Grandma passed, I was in my early thirties. I was devastated. She was the first really close family member I’d lost. We used to talk for hours every day on the phone for as long as I could remember.
She was my mentor, confidante and constant source of inspiration. I couldn’t imagine life without her, so I cried solidly for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks I had a dream/vision.
As I lay there sobbing, my Grandad, who had passed over six months prior, brought her into my room. He told me Grandma was extremely weak and couldn’t stay long, but she wanted to see me before she went to 'hospital'. Grandma was leaning heavily on him and looked exhausted. He placed her in the bed beside me and we hugged and chatted for some time. Well, I did most of the talking, telling her how much I was going to miss her and I didn’t know how I’d cope. She reassured me, smiling weakly. 
All too soon, my Grandad came to take her away.  I could feel my body cooling where she’d lain next to me. 
 After Grandma’s visit, I found my loss easier to bear, because I knew she would always be around me, even though I couldn't have her here physically. She has visited me many times since, still imparting her wisdom and love.
I was luckier than most, even though I didn't appreciate it at the time. A few days
before she became incredibly ill, we'd had thanked each other for the love and fantastic memories.  I treasure those moments of gratitude we shared. Even now, when I remember that day, my eyes tingle and leak.
As we were chatting, she pointed over to the window, telling me my Grandad was standing there, waiting until she was ready.
In hindsight, I should have taken her passing with a lot more grace, given that we had been lucky enough to have such an opportunity to talk frankly, openly and lovingly with each other.
Time passes, sadness fades a little but love lives on forever!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xxx

Quite often when I do a reiki or massage, I end up with am extra 'visitor'. I used to tell people who came in and why or what they wanted, but unless someone is ready to hear about that side of life, they just freak out....and never call me again. It's funny how some people think that because I'm psychic or I can feel the pain or discomfort within their body, that I have the ability to read their minds as well! Even if I could, I wouldn't do that. To me reading someone's energy or doing a reading without their permisson is plain bad manners - it's just like breaking into someone's house...
Sometimes the 'visitor' is extremely helpful, whispering advice, or placing their hands on mine to place more power in my client's energy field. I have had my hand pushed slightly, pushed down and even had arms wrapped around me as I do a reiki healing. I love it! It's so wonderful to know their spirit family, or angels are doing the best they can for the person on my table.  I am always grateful for any help from our Spirit frends and family.
Unless I know my client wants to hear about the spiritual side of healing, I say nothing. My belief is my belief and it is not my right to force it on anyone else.
I have never had a negative experience while doing my treatments, I know that anyone in the room with us is only here for our highest good. End of story!
I did have a giggle the other day as I was giving a lady a massage in her own home. I 'heard' someone come in and they stood slightly behind me. I knew it was a male energy, and he had a message for the woman on my table. I was filling in for another therapist, so I didn't know much about her or what her beliefs were. I 'talked' (with my thoughts) to the spirit as I worked. 'I'm sorry, but I can't give any messages to Anna. I don't know how she will take it and I don't want to frighten or upset her.'
He wasn't angry, but he was a little peeved, and I swear he stamped his feet at me! All of a sudden there was a sound in the ceiling above me. It started as a cracking sound, then as it spread, I imagined it was similar to a sheet of ice as it cracks and splinters. It sounded so real and loud I was almost too scared to look up in case it was about to fall down around my ears.
Anna looked up suddenly and said 'What the hell was that? I've never heard that before.' We both looked up, but there was no trace of anything wrong with the ceiling.
I smiled and said nothing as I carried on massaging, but I had a chuckle as I realised I had seen my first Spirit tantrum!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

Sometimes we have crazy dreams we can't possibly explain.  I believe dreams are the result of messages our unconscious, our intuition or our guides want us to listen to. Although some of them seem to have such strange content, we can always find a gem within that tells us something we aren't looking at or attending to within our lives.
Our subconscious uses dreams to help us to think about things we are repressing or trying to bury/hide from ourselves. It's usually a wake up call. It very rarely means exactly what the dream portrays. Our subconscious speaks to us in pictures we understand and the emotions that go with them.
Dreams aren't always as straightforward as we think they are.
Sometimes our subconscious or our guides are trying to tell us something
important. Each persons dream will be unique to them and their thought patterns,
values and mindsets, so we need to unravel these for you to discover what your
dream is trying to tell you.
The only time our guides and spirit family can get into our minds is when we are asleep or meditating - when our busy minds are at rest. Otherwise it's like trying to cross a busy highway, it's hit or miss for our spiritual companions.
Although dream books are extremely helpful, if a definition doesn't resonate with you, then you may find it difficult to make sense of it. Everyone's dream is unique to them, as what one thing symbolises a certain thing in one person's mind isn't always the same in another, so it's important to look at the symbols in a dream and what they mean to you. Once we establish what they represent, we may discover you have an Aha! moment. Once you have reached this stage you may find the dreams stop because your subconscious has made it's point.

 Here's an example of a dream to give you an idea of what I mean.
Supposing you had a dream where you were in a house, pregnant and very unhappy. Your partner was extremely happy. Next thing you were in a car and it spun out of control...and then you woke up.
These are some of the questions I would ask you:
Being pregnant to me means you have an idea, something you are thinking
of doing or a project, etc. What does pregnant mean to you? When you think of
being pregnant, what do you associate it with?
For me a baby is usually about a new beginning, so it could be a fresh start, new venture, something different about to happen in your life. What does this mean to you, not in actually holding one or having one. Is it a sense of fulfilment? A burden? A struggle? Contentment?
If you knew the sex of the baby, to me a girl would mean it is either to do with your femininity or something that affects you personally. So are you acknowledging your feminine side? Do you feel desirable? Are you being all you can be? A boy would be about being strong, taking action, feeling confident in yourself. Are you feeling overwhelmed by the will of others? Do you feel stuck? Are you feeling unhappy or stifled at work? Do you want to change your career direction?
Are you and your partner happy? Do you feel something is lacking? Do you feel less than desirable? Is there something you want to sort out within your relationship but don't know where to start? Do you have an idea for a venture that you would like to pursue but you aren't saying it out loud? Are you buying a house or taking a
risk financially and it is worrying you? Do you want to buy a house or take a risk and your partner doesn't?
I believe a house is usually symbolic of our soul, the place where we truly live. Do you feel happy in yourself? Do you feel you are being all you can be? Do you feel like there is more to life?
Are there any other specifics in the dream? Rooms? Colours? Where do you think you are? Country? Time, as in present time? Is anyone else around you? What else is happening?
If it's a kitchen, what does a kitchen symbolise to you? For me a kitchen is all about drudgery and boredom, never-ending sameness. If it's a bedroom, what does that mean? Is it about your inner sanctuary? Is it your cave away from the world? Is it a place for sleeping? Or is it a place full of romance and sex?
When I define my own dreams, a car typically symbolises our journey through life. What type of car was it? Is it your current car? Is it better? Is it worse? What colour iss it? What does that colour mean to you? Were you cramped? What does a car mean to you personally? What springs into your mind immediately when you think about a car accident? Could it be a fear for the person/people in the car's safety? Or for your relationship with yourself? Does it feel like your life is out of control, that you aren't driving your journey?
Is there a part of you waiting for something bad to happen to you....your partner, family or your relationship. Do you feel as if it's too good to be true? Do you feel unworthy or that he/she could/should have someone better?  Do you feel like your relationship has changed for better? for worse?

It is important to break your dream up into the bigger symbols and then look
at what each one means to you. I used to write down each item and list what they
represented to me; what I feel when I think about them and anything else that
popped into my mind. As I did so, I would usually have an Aha! moment and
understand the message. I love the challenge of defining what my message is. In
fact I'm disappointed when I don't get to dream! Having done it for so many
years, I don't need to write it down anymore. I wake up in the morning and think
'Okay, I need to address that issue, or I need to do that for me, etc'

Of course there is another theory as well.  As I say in another chapter, I believe we currently live on many planes, that major decisions we make impact how our life pans out (similar to the movie Sliding Doors). Generally it feels like we are a bystander, or that they can't see us. However, when we visit these alternate planes in our dreams it is possible to feel all the pain, emotions and anguish, because we are that person too. So in a different plane, someone may have been killed or the outcome may have been different.
I know that when I 'visit' another plane, although I am watching what is happening, I feel all the emotions of the person in the dream so acutely as if I was experiencing it, and in a way I am.
I'd be willing to bet that the next dream you have, you will look at it differently.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx
(picture by Zen Gardener)
 


  
 

(excerpt from my book)
We are each given guides to help us along our life path. Some are from past lives, whether they are friends, family or enemies. Some of our guides 'owe' us for a misdeed in a past life. Others have a specific personality trait we need to draw upon and some are here because they agreed to help us during our
journey. There is no limit to the number of guides we have, some are here for a specific time frame or until we resolve an issue or past life emotion we have brought through into this life and others are here for our entire life.
I've had many guides through my life and I'm going to use some of them as an example of why they were here.
I have (had):
Alfie, a 'boat' man who did me wrong in a past life, messing with my affections and deserting me when I became pregnant. He stands guard over me and helps me rediscover my inner strength. He uses his oar in a way a soldier might stand at attention with a rifle.
Maria, is a spanish dancer, who encourages me to dance and enjoy life.
Carlos is a gypsy I helped to escape when fortune telling was illegal in Spain. He is repaying a debt and tried for many years to get me to accept my psychic-ness.
Sarah was my younger sister, who had played for my parent's affections and landed me in trouble many times because she was cute and I was 'old enough to know better'. She was here to show me that I can still be child-like and use my imagination.
I also have a High Priestess, whose name I've never known. I also was a High Priestess in that lifetime and we were like sisters. She spent a fair amount of years trying to help me see the divine being within me. I died a horrible death in that
lifetime, swearing never to put myself in that position ever again. Over time,
she has convinced me that times are different and it's safe to be all I am. She appeared in my life at a time when I was heartsick and didn't want to  be a part of this world. She would assume my reflection in the mirror. Synchronistically, the time she began to be a part of my life and when I was giving up on life is about the age I had died in that previous lifetime. We wrote a contract on the etheric plane where she agreed to help me through that difficult time.
Peter is a son I miscarried in this lifetime. He appears as a 15 year old, because that is the age he 'chooses' to be. He helps me to remember how amazing I am, that I am lovable even when I feel I'm at my most unlovable! He knows everything about me and still loves me unconditionally. He gets a bit annoyed with me sometimes when I forget to do the same, or to ask for help.
Brian has been with me since birth. He's a bit of a straight talker and doesn't
mind giving me a bitch slap from the other side now and then. I don't believe we
shared any lifetimes together, he just signed up to be my babysitter! He helps
me in all things.
Butch, my husband, is also around me, helping me to learn to live again and he puts in a good word with other people's guides to help smooth the way. I'm told he feels responsible for leaving me to struggle, which is sad and uplifting at the same time. He also makes me realise I am loved and that although his physical presence is gone,I am never alone.
My Grandma is also around me, helping to smooth the way and provide comfort when she can.
I also have a guide who is a Light Spirit. His name is complicated to say, so I just call him Sam. He's taller than the ceiling in my room and has to bend in half if he visits. I have met with him in a meditation and danced with my feet resting on his. He carries me effortlessly and I feel such joy around him. 
Guides can come and go continually. They don't just stand around waiting for
us to need them. They have 'lives' to lead as well. I know that Carlos, Sarah
and the High Priestess are no longer around me. They have achieved what they
were here to do. The rest are still around me, and I know Ihave a few new ones waiting in the wings as I evolve, appearing as my needs and lessons change with me.
Some people see their guides, others feel, sense or hear them. I could feel
Alfie, can hear Brian and I would see the High Priestess as I looked in  the mirror. 
I love all my guides and spirit family, they each bring something different
to my life, so I know I have all the bases covered. I know that whatever happens
I can call on them for assistance. I know they whisper to me as I sleep, hug me
when I'm miserable and inspire me to be all I can be.  They laugh and cry along with me, and will cheer from the sidelines when I most need it. However they never interfere with my free will, and will only step in to offer guidance or assistance if I ask them. If I have a difficult issue with someone or something, they will 'chat' to the guides of others involved to help resolve the situation.
I believe that sometimes the orbs that show up in photos are imprints of the energy from our spirit family and guides. I also believe that not every reading or visit to a psychic will immediately allow us access to all our guides. Sometimes they only step forward when we need to know about them and the reason th
Discovering who our guides are and why they are around us is important. We are better able to see what challenge we are facing and know we aren't alone. We never are, it is only our perception that we are.
As beings of source, we are always connected, even if we don't see or realise it at the time. There is a lot of comfort just in the knowing!
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

The other day I was contacted by someone who was having trouble with their doorbell going off randomly. They wanted to know if there was a specific significance - Was someone trying to get in contact with her and what did they want?
I told her I thought someone was letting her know they were there, or...they could be telling her  she wasn't letting someone or something into her life!
As I replied to her message, I couldn't help thinking about the time in my life when I had shut out the rest of the world. (earlier post) I didn't go out, no one visited, except family and a couple of close friends, because 'it just wasn't convenient right now'. Even when I did go out, I'd wear earphones, with the cord tucked into my bra so everyone would think I was listening to music and not try to make conversation with me.
And then strange things began to happen...some of my doors started jamming. After a while I had five doors that wouldn't shut properly. It drove me crazy for about three months until I eventually had to call in a handyman to fix them.
That was fine for a little while, all my doors opened and shut smoothly...then the Universe decided I needed another gentle reminder...
Each day and night I would check the locks on my doors, and every time I did, I would find the doors open. The first time it happened I thought I'd forgotten to shut the front door properly. The second time I freaked out and searched the house in case there was an intruder. (I'm not sure what I would have done if there had actually been one!)
The next time it happened I realised the door was still locked, even though it was wide open. There was no way it could have opened with the lock still intact! I knew I had made a point of checking the lock each time, pulling with all my weight on the door to test it.
Eventually the answer came to me...I wasn't meant to live the rest of my life hidden away. I wasn't meant to stay in the dark or isolated from the world. I had things to do and Spirit was telling me 'Either go out or let others come in!'
Although it was scary at the time, and extremely daunting, I am glad Spirit was so persistent. I can't imagine where I would be right now without their helping hand!
So, next time there are strange happenings in your house or within your life, ask yourself 'Am I getting a nudge?' 'Is there something I need to do?' or 'What is the message I am meant to be getting here?'
You might be surprised with the results.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx