Even if I was so inclined, which I'm not, I couldn't even throw myself off the longest pier because I'd only end up on my arse - which is pretty much the norm for me at the moment! I suppose I could have jumped into the mud and prayed for quicksand....
As I sat there, looking at the landscape, I couldn't help but feeling the mud and rocks symbolised my life right at that moment. Everything felt murky and full of obstacles.. I tossed up whether to go back to the comfort of home where I could hide from the biting cold, or remain seated on a stone cold (ha ha) rock, which was probably giving me 'monkey piles' like my Mum warned me about whenever I sat on cold concrete.....A part of me felt I needed to sit there until I could see past the dark and dismal to the tranquil beauty in the distance.
As I sat there on the pile of rocks lying haphazardly around me, I noticed they were kinda smooth after years of being pummelled by the sea.
If I was to equate that to me, I would say, yes, life has shaped me, taken my rough edges off - not without sacrifice or pain, I'm sure! So, within that context, if I was to consider this pile of different shaped rocks around me, I could think of them as my talents, skills and abilities. There are small ones, strange looking ones, big 'in your face' ones, just like my talents or skills. The fact they are all heaped in a big messy pile is relevant too (and yes, I do realise this is a man-made pile...so is mine - well, woman-made! LOL)
Like the rocks stacked here, I am struggling to work out which dream I should be following, which ones inspire and lift me.
All too often as we accumulate skills and talents, but we don't see them as amazing abilities. We take them for granted, or lack the confidence to feel proud of our achievements. It's only when someone points out how awesome it is that we take a step back and notice how incredible we are.
This happened to me this morning when I spoke to a good friend and set me to thinking about what I want to do in my life. I know I love my writing, I love helping others with psychic readings and healing through Reiki and massage, but is this where my passion is, my fire? I already know the answer, these are my passion, they light the fire in my soul, so why am I doing all the other 'stuff'? Its time to cull the ones that don't serve my purpose or help me to be all that I can be.
Back to my seaside musing...
In front of me the rocks thin out and scatter, reducing in size. To me, these represent the obstacles we encounter on our way to personal greatness. By the way, personal greatness isn't measured by wealth, possessions or a great relationship, unless of course its loving ourselves wholly and unconditionally. It's about being all you are meant to be. These rocks are the big incidents in our life, the ones that create change whether we want it or not.
The small rocks gradually give away to rubble and eventually muddy looking sand. These are the day to day tribulations or 'hiccups', like missing a bus or a green light, spilling sugar as we put it in our coffee mug or running out of our favourite biscuits. Apart from those that disrupt our life and change our day or life irrevocably we barely register the impact they have.
Just past that murky patch, the sand is is gleaming in the sun (I have to use a little imagination here, as the sun is behind a cloud and I can't quite see the colour of the sand from here, but I 'know' it to be true).
The sea laps at the sand invitingly, encouraging me to look past all the boulders, rocks, stones, rubble and dirty sand to begin a journey of discovery, full of light and opportunity, to me, to my personal greatness....if only I take that first step.
I can't take all these rocks with me, or I'll need scuba gear. However, if I take those ones that matter most to me, the ones that light a fire in my belly. I can probably take some and still keep my head above water. Who knows? Once I have put faith in my 'rocks', they just might float to the surface or even better yet, they may float higher and carry me to where I truly want to be.
It's all about faith, faith in our choices, our abilities, what and who we love and most importantly faith in OURSELVES!
Love and Respect
PS. In the distance I can see someone sitting at the end of another pier. I wonder if they are seeing the beauty around them, or like me, do they have to 'look past' the rocks to get there?
Life is beautiful if we just take the time to sit still and 'be' to notice.