I was talking to someone about honesty, being honest to and with ourselves. This person was caught up in the idea that being honest with yourself and others was more about confronting someone about their behaviour or pulling them up when they went out of their way to hurt you.
This isn't what being about honest or true to yourself is all about. When we confront someone in anger, nothing we do or say will change who that person is or how they behave. It just creates more conflict and ammunition for the situation to snowball.
If someone tried to change our behaviour, would we? Could we? We are who we are, it isn't as if we can flip a switch and suddenly we are a different person or act differently.
The secret to living on this earthly plane is to accept everyone for who they are. We don't have to love them, or even like them, but we can recognise and acknowledge the divine spark that lies within.
There are people in my life I don't particularly like, but there is a part of them I love, so when we are together, that's what I focus on.
Don't be drawn into other people's dramas, because that means you own what they are talking about or angry about.
Every time you answer them or refute something, they gain power and you lose it.
Loving yourself for being honest isn't about confronting people, it's knowing that you are being truthful to yourself. You have the ability to tell yourself the truth, that you don't like how you are being treated, that you wouldn't do it to anyone else and its okay to be pissed off and hurt...but its also okay not to confront or take it any further. Acknowledging our emotions and feelings is extremely important when being honest with ourselves and true to who we are
Everyone has their own 'map' of how an event took place, no two maps are the same, so you will never achieve anything by trying to get someone else to read 'your' map and admit its better. All you can do is acknowledge the maps are different and carry on with your life.
I'm not saying there is no reason to ever confront someone, but sometimes, it really
isn't worth wasting your energy when the other person is so headset in their own
'stuff' and won't listen anyway!
There are times when speaking your truth is vital, when you are being accused wrongfully of something, when you feel intimidated, undermined and many other occasions. However it's important to choose what it is you want to clash with people over, whether it's worth the aggravation, or whether you will just create more tension and achieve nothing.
It is also imprtant to remember that some people take their frustrations out on us when their life isn't going well or they are struggling for any number of reasons. I'm not saying this is right, but we have all lashed out at some stage when someone has crossed our paths at a time when we are irritated, angry or upset. And all too often, if two people are having issues, the effect can end up being a to and fro of words and accusations as both parties seek to find a way to release their pent up emotions and prove that they are in the right. Given that we have different maps and
Lets try to approach all situations with a clear head and a clear heart. Ask ourselves, is it worth creating friction for? Will it change the person? Will it change the situation? Can I handle this differently? Shall I speak my truth? Shall I walk away?
When we know the answer, we can then act accordingly...in honesty and within our self truth.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx
This isn't what being about honest or true to yourself is all about. When we confront someone in anger, nothing we do or say will change who that person is or how they behave. It just creates more conflict and ammunition for the situation to snowball.
If someone tried to change our behaviour, would we? Could we? We are who we are, it isn't as if we can flip a switch and suddenly we are a different person or act differently.
The secret to living on this earthly plane is to accept everyone for who they are. We don't have to love them, or even like them, but we can recognise and acknowledge the divine spark that lies within.
There are people in my life I don't particularly like, but there is a part of them I love, so when we are together, that's what I focus on.
Don't be drawn into other people's dramas, because that means you own what they are talking about or angry about.
Every time you answer them or refute something, they gain power and you lose it.
Loving yourself for being honest isn't about confronting people, it's knowing that you are being truthful to yourself. You have the ability to tell yourself the truth, that you don't like how you are being treated, that you wouldn't do it to anyone else and its okay to be pissed off and hurt...but its also okay not to confront or take it any further. Acknowledging our emotions and feelings is extremely important when being honest with ourselves and true to who we are
Everyone has their own 'map' of how an event took place, no two maps are the same, so you will never achieve anything by trying to get someone else to read 'your' map and admit its better. All you can do is acknowledge the maps are different and carry on with your life.
I'm not saying there is no reason to ever confront someone, but sometimes, it really
isn't worth wasting your energy when the other person is so headset in their own
'stuff' and won't listen anyway!
There are times when speaking your truth is vital, when you are being accused wrongfully of something, when you feel intimidated, undermined and many other occasions. However it's important to choose what it is you want to clash with people over, whether it's worth the aggravation, or whether you will just create more tension and achieve nothing.
It is also imprtant to remember that some people take their frustrations out on us when their life isn't going well or they are struggling for any number of reasons. I'm not saying this is right, but we have all lashed out at some stage when someone has crossed our paths at a time when we are irritated, angry or upset. And all too often, if two people are having issues, the effect can end up being a to and fro of words and accusations as both parties seek to find a way to release their pent up emotions and prove that they are in the right. Given that we have different maps and
Lets try to approach all situations with a clear head and a clear heart. Ask ourselves, is it worth creating friction for? Will it change the person? Will it change the situation? Can I handle this differently? Shall I speak my truth? Shall I walk away?
When we know the answer, we can then act accordingly...in honesty and within our self truth.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx
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