The last one I was on had an older African man, complete with long dark pointy mask, who wasn't impressed that I was there on my first night. I wasn't in the mood to ask if he was friendly or otherwise, so instead I cleared the energy in my share of the house with my pendulum. This didn't mean he had to leave, because it is not my right to tell him whether he should stay or go. This was a way of setting boundaries between us. He was allowed a certain area of the house and I would have the best part with the lounge, my bedroom and kitchen attached! He went quietly and didn't cause any fuss. For a week we lived in harmony. He would give me little surprises every now and then by dropping or rattling things, or letting out a deep noise, that wasn't so much a moan as just reminding me he was there.
As I was cleaning and preparing to leave, I had a CD on quite loud, and I could hear he wasn't happy, as the voice I heard at one stage wasn't compatible with the song playing. It sounded like a 'Noooooo-oo!' My music obviously didn't appeal. I just smiled and carried on singing at the top of my voice. And then the fun began.... He started jumping the CD back and forth, between songs and repeating some of the lines. Each time I would get 'into' the song, dancing or singing, and the music would change or repeat. I told him that I can't do housework without loud music (because then its more like dancing than working) and he was just going to have to deal with it. He still messed around with it for a while, but he must have eventually got bored, because the rest of the CD played without incident.
This week has been a difficult week for me, I have been pondering on my life before Butch passed and how different things could have been. Despite what other people think, I don't always have it together and I certainly don't have all the answers. I wallow in self pity and wishful thinking, just like the next person.
So, the next CD I played was one that Butch and I loved. As I sang along, I could feel Butch around me...and then the CD started to do strange things. It paused and skipped to the very last track. The song was extremely relevant to my week. It spoke of things happening within our lives, and sure, we could have avoided them, but, how, if we had done that, we wouldn't have had some of the great experiences we had had. I had tears in my eyes as I sang along. The CD stopped, so I pressed play, hoping to hear the rest of the CD....but it would only play #17 (the same song). I gave in, saying 'Okay, I get the message.' The CD stopped and then went to track #7, which was a song about learning to live again. (coincidentally, that is what my grief website is called!)
I finished my cleaning and sat outside to enjoy my cup of tea.....and realised after a while that the same song had been playing over and over again. I laughed a little to myself and knew I was being told to pay attention. The song playing was our song. The one we had played at our wedding, whenever we were feeling mooshy and at Butch's funeral... *sigh* Love that man! ♥
So I encourage you to listen to the music that is around you. Be aware of the messages you are being given....and always listen to loud music when you do housework! It makes a huge difference to your attitude!
with love, respect and integrity