I am a widow, and as such, I have been subject to expectation, perception and opinion that, apparently, dictates I am prone to stealing husbands/partners and boyfriends. This has annoyed me for some time and created a 'defensive' attitude (another one of my 'attitudes'!) Even on the day that Butch passed this judgement was surprisingly passed on me (pfft! as if that would be uppermost in my mind!). I won't go any further into that particular subject as I don't want to get up on my soapbox!
During my Grandma's transition journey, there were many spirits around her home, both inside and lined up outside. She would have been 103 this month, so I can confidently say she had contact with many people in her lifetime.
One morning I was walking between my Dad’s and Grandma’s and said without thinking ‘Hello Marcus!’ I stopped dead in my tracks and asked ‘Marcus? Who’s Marcus?’ At that moment a beautiful spirit stepped forward and told me his formal name. I repeated my greeting and carried on to Grandma's.
A few of my cousins were in the kitchen and I asked, as I sat down ‘Does anyone know a Marcus?’ I then repeated his full name. It turned out he was the father in law of one of my cousins and he'd passed on years before. Another cousin showed me a photo with a group of men I didn’t recognise, but one seemed strangely familiar. It was Marcus.
After the funeral, I was at Grandma's 'wake', standing around awkwardly, as you do. A woman walked up to me. She stood directly in front of me and said "I hear you've been seeing my husband!'
I immediately went into defensive mode, throwing up my hands, taking a step back, saying 'Not me! I'm not that kind of woman!'
She looked at me strangely as she told me Marcus was her husband!
...see what happens when you 'buy into' someone else's perception of who you are?!
with love, respect and integrity