I had a friend who complained to me many years ago that every man she met treated her the same - They started off as Prince Charming and over time she always became the punching bag. I said to her 'You will always meet these men as long as you have such a low opinion of yourself. How can things change if you believe thats all you're worth, that you should settle for whatever or whoever comes along?'
When we believe we aren't worth any better, that we can't expect to meet a 'prince' who stays a 'prince', that we can only expect the dregs of life, that we don't deserve to have a soulmate experience, or worse, we aren't prepared to wait for it, things generally start to go wrong.
As we grow up, we're led to believe that we aren't 'part of a couple' we are a failure or an oddity. When we become a couple, we introduce the other as our 'other half', implying that we weren't whole until we met. So from an early age we believe we aren't whole, that we need to seek a mate and we don't need to be choosy, as long as we're a part of society's expectations.
When things go wrong, we split up, divorce or become widowed, we can feel like a failure thanks to society's standards.
Some quickly search for a replacement, and I'm not saying that's wrong, it is their life and they are free to live it their way, just as we all are free to live our way...that's the beauty of our earthly journey.
However, if we believe we 'need' to be a part of a couple and we have a low self esteem or feel we are an unworthy individual, we can attract the wrong relationships, with people who are looking for someone they can manipulate or bully. (They have
internal radar systems!)
If we don't believe in our magnificence, if we feel 'less than' or undeserving, then we tend to attract relationships and people into our lives that will play on those feelings.
How do I know this? Well, I had several disastrous relationships, followed by an unhappy marriage, which all followed a predictable theme. Then one day I woke up and my first thought was 'I'm worth so much more than this!' and changed.
I believe this was the first step toward my spiritual and personal empowerment. I met my soulmate who I spent 25 wonderful years with. He encouraged me to grow, to be my own person and to believe in myself. Thanks to him I know what I'm worth, I'm not prepared to settle for anything less, no matter what it is I'm searching for.
I encourage you to realise your worth, to know that you deserve the best life can
offer, to believe in your capacity to give and receive love.
with love, respect and integrity