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Is a lie really a buffer against the truth?

18/6/2012

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In this blog I want to talk about truth in relationships. Sometimes a relationship breaks down. There doesn't have to be a reason, it is what it is. Sometimes one falls out of love with the other, the magic disappears, or there may even be a third party in the mix. There's a part of us that doesn't want to hurt the other person. We try to pretend everything's okay, but we know it isn't and the
pretence is only skin deep. We can feel the truth within and it messes with our
energy vibration.
If we are the other person, we know something is wrong, but we can't put our finger on the cause...or maybe deep down we know what the truth of the matter is - we just don't want to face it.
Somewhere along the way lying becomes sanitised as protecting the other person. We justify to ourselves, 'What they don't know can't hurt them'. As we disconnect energetically from the person who loves us, they certainly know what is happening, but they are confused or try to block out the signals our energy is transmitting.
Did you know only 3% of our communication is through speech? The rest of it is based on our tone of voice, our body language, our actions, etc. So, if you believe you are protecting someone by not telling them you don't want to be with them to their faces, you would be better off telling the truth.
I come across the 'dance of deception' a lot both as a psychic and a healer. As I have said many times, I don't give readings based on whether you are being cheated on or die-by-dates, but it breaks my heart when I see how others treat those who love them. I encourage clients to open up to the energetic messages they are receiving, to acknowledge what they know deep within, but I would never ever tell them how their relationship is or should be. That is not my job. I'm in the business of reminding everyone about their personal and spiritual empowerment, I believe in building others up, not tearing them down.
There are some who would say that's pretty darned selfish of me - well, hey, I'm not the one who created the problem, or the one who is allowing it to linger instead of speaking my truth. I believe that the lesson for both parties is to be truthful, to utilise the kindness of telling it like it is, to let the other person know their true feelings and allow you both to move on.
Spirit doesn't want to become embroiled in our break-ups or philandering. These are lessons we must pass through, and the lesson is for both parties. By speaking truth and hearing truth, although there will be some hurt, it's far better than living in fear or confusion, isn't it?
And holding back the truth isn't restricted to marriages or partnerships. What about the friends we freeze out because they don't fit in our lives anymore, or they did something we can't forget or forgive? We're busy when they call, we don't answer the phone or we treat them coolly when we run into them. Don't they deserve the truth? Isn't if fair to assume they could seek out other friendships that would be more beneficial to their self esteem and sense of personal power?
Just to make my point clear, I am not passing judgement on anyone. I know that life is full of curve balls and hair-pin bends. What is our truth this month may be something totally different to next month. Someone we desperately love this year may be a distant memory by this time next year. That's how life is. That's how we, as humans, are.
However, I do believe our integrity is as vital as breathing. If we tell the truth, we never have to remember what our last lie was or get tangled in a web of deceit. Be true to you, be truthful and even though you may hurt someone, it's better than torturing them slowly until everything becomes sour and leaves a nasty taste in everyone's mouth.
with love, respect and integrity
Cherie xx

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